A Psychologist Robert Sternberg broke down true love into three parts. He says if you have these three components in your relationship you can gladly say to any one you have true love.
PASSION : This is physical and sexual attraction. You are like Wow!! You can’t get enough of this person. You might see stars, angels, hear music, feel butterflies in your stomach everything nice etc. It is hard to explain the feeling you have when you initially meet someone you really like and both of you hit it off. The feeling is overwhelming. At this stage we tend to be very affectionate and demonstrative about our feelings for each other and we cannot get enough of each other. Most people assume this initial attraction is what love is all about but according to Sternberg it is not. It is just part of being in love. Many times it could also be mere infatuation or lustful love that could fizzle out in time. In this early stage it is hard to say if it is true love. It is so common for most people here to cling to only words professing love or demonstrations of affection as a major sign that they are truly loved by their partner. Often they over look a whole lot more deeper and more sustaining things that reveal the true state of their partner’s minds towards them until their euphoria (because that is what it usually is) encounters a problem and they are forced to go into deeper thought about their partner and their relationship.
INTIMACY: This is the emotional connection part. Emotional connection is that thing you have with your partner that makes him appreciate you beyond anyone else and you him. It sets you both apart in each other’s eyes and hearts, makes you both want to commit to only each other, and feel you are the only one for each other. If you don’t have this connection it cannot be true love. It is important to note that you can be in a relationship without there being an emotional connection between you and your partner. A man for instance can have an intense attraction and a steamy relationship with a woman without having any emotional feelings for her. He does not in any way want to own her or be part of her life. But for a woman he feels an emotional connection with, he is restless until she belongs to him. He wants her, her respect, love, affection, admiration etc. He wants to be part of her life and wants her to hold him in higher esteem than any other man in her life. If things are not this way in your relationship you are just having a fling.
COMMITMENT: This is the ability to stay connected no matter what happens. This is working through misunderstandings and quarrels and hurts and still sticking together. This is believing in each other and not suspecting prejudging and criticizing each other. This is the hard part of every relationship. It is the test of true love. It is working positively to resolve issues. For a couple to say they have found true love they must be very strong in this area. They must have both decided consciously to pursue the relationship no matter what. It is what true relationship is made of. Loving and sticking to that one person even if they grow fat, sick, ugly, poor. You cannot of course as a person agree with everything but you agree to be there for them no matter how things turn out.
True love must have all three of these components. Having one or two of these components means your relationship is sick and needs help. For instance feeling only physical attraction for your mate but no emotional connection and having no commitment towards him or having emotional feelings for your guy but having physical stirrings for some other person are both signs of a sick relationship. I am sure you will agree with me. So there you have it folks. It is up to you now to decide if what you have going on in your life with your partner is true love.
Source : 4clique.
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